The early reviews are in, and the results for Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium aren’t good. A single flick in a long line of holiday movies, Magorium’s has a promising cast and offers enchanting special effects, but the reviewers don’t like Dustin Hoffman’s hair, on-screen persona, or choice in movie roles.

Hoffman plays the 243-year-old Mr. Magorium, the owner/operator of an enchanted toy shop. Okay, sounds all right so far. Enter Natalie Portman, who plays a self-effacing young woman without a lot of confidence. Sure, that’s believable. The magical toys dance around the shop, the children delight in the sights and sounds of the Emporium, and the plot of the movie reveals itself pretty early on. Magorium is retiring and wants to turn the shop over to his assistant, lovely Portman. That’s it. That’s the plot. The whole movie is about whether or not Portman’s character will be able to fill Magorium’s wacky, wild shoes. Then, of course, there are the effects of the dancing toys. Take all that, and you have Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium, which comes to theaters this weekend.

Entertainment Weekly called the movie “really, really bad.” I think that about sums it up.